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8 Things To Do When You Feeling Unwanted In A Relationship

September 26, 2023

8 min read

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Author : United We Care
Clinically approved by : Dr.Vasudha
8 Things To Do When You Feeling Unwanted In A Relationship


Relationships are unpredictable. It is often heartbreaking and messy. Many times, feelings get complicated, and things don’t feel the same anymore. Nothing in this transient world lasts forever. Many times in our most loving relationships, we start feeling neglected. It’s frustrating to see your world crumble and things go wrong when you want things to be the same forever. It can frequently cause insecurities and breakdowns where you question yourself every time.

Furthermore, it’s essential to be empathetic and compassionate towards yourself.

What does it mean to feel unwanted?

Feeling unwanted is strange. It’s a complex emotion to process and can often be frustrating and overwhelming. It means your needs are being ignored, and you are not being given the attention you deserve. It has an impact on your self-esteem, and you start questioning your presence in any relationship.

Feeling unwanted in a relationship is an emotionally challenging situation. You keep going through multiple lows with no clear answers. Finally, you feel betrayed because the person you imagined a beautiful time with seems no longer interested in you.

How do you feel when you are unwanted?

It is a severe blow to your esteem, and you start questioning who you are. It’s not being tended to, constantly ignored, and the only one fighting in a relationship. Not only that, but it feels like you are putting in too much effort than your counterpart. Your love and commitment feel unrequited. You feel ignored, and your partner finds no interest in you. You may feel they are growing attached to other people and losing interest in you. They may be ignoring you, not initiating conversations, and aren’t willing to engage in any kind of affection or physical touch. You feel how things are changing, and your partner isn’t the same person you always want them to be.

It’s frustrating and tiring to be the same person sticking to old things when everything has drastically changed with your partner. The attachment and affection start diminishing, and you feel bad.

Read more about: 4 Ways to Ignore Someone Without Hurting Them

You start questioning your entire life and feel depressed because you start blaming yourself. When you feel unwanted, you are jealous of everyone happy. You become jealous of your peers and friends. You wish your partner made you feel whole. Not only that, but you start looking for validation everywhere. It’s the feeling of doing everything yet not being able to salvage things. Everything seems like a one-sided story, and you are not the protagonist anymore. You feel unloved, unheard, and so lonely. You are confused, lost, and worried.

Furthermore, you don’t know what to do about it anymore.

It causes-

  1. A serious blow to self-esteem
  2. Feeling ignored
  3. Emotionally challenging situation
  4. Feeling betrayed
  5. Feel frustrated and depressed
  6. Start questioning who you
  7. Blaming yourself
  8. Feeling jealous of everyone’s happy
  9. Fighting in a relationship
  10. Love and commitment feel unrequited
  11. Feeling unsolved unheard, and so lonely
  12. Feeling confused, lost, and worried

Why do people make you feel unwanted in a relationship

Why do people make you feel unwanted in a relationship?

Sometimes when you feel unwanted, you question it. Do you wonder why people make you feel unwanted?

It’s important to think logically and try not to take it personally. First, you must try to understand something is going on in your partner’s life that may be making you feel this way. Your partner may be stressed because of financial or work pressure. They may be frustrated because of endless responsibilities and deadlines. They may also be in poor mental space. Depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues may be causing difficulties in their life. While there cannot be one clear-cut reason, you need to understand that distraction, frustration, and exhaustion can take a toll on people. They may be feeling guilty or sad and aren’t able to communicate with you regarding their feelings.

In these cases, it’s crucial not to take it personally. Try communicating with your partner regarding what they are feeling, and then understand from what place they are coming from.

When you question why people make you feel unwanted, it’s crucial to remember that maybe you are avoiding yourself.

Feeling unwanted can be caused by –

  1. Anger and anxiety
  2. Depression
  3. Low self-esteem
  4. Stemming jealousy
  5. People-pleasing tendencies
  6. Distraction, Frustration, and exhaustion
  7. Avoiding yourself

When should you start feeling unwanted in a relationship?

You should start feeling unwanted in a relationship when your partner seems to lose interest in you. They don’t engage with you anymore and aren’t affectionate with you. Instead, they ignored you and seemed to have lost their libido. When your needs are ignored, and your efforts seem one-sided, you should start feeling unwanted in a relationship.

Suggested Article: How to Know If He Takes Me For Granted?

Things to do when you feeling unwanted in a relationship

Reflect on the feeling

Always remember, no feeling is final. What you are feeling right now will pass. It won’t be the same way forever. It’s indispensable not to be stuck in a loop and understand what you are feeling. Ask yourself why you are feeling a certain way. Try to evaluate what is causing it. It can stem from your insecurities, jealousy, low self-esteem, stress, or other unresolved issues. It’s imperative to reflect on it and cross-question yourself to understand the root cause.

Talk to your partner

Many times, what you are feeling is not personal. Sometimes your partner may be going through issues of their own. It can cause decreased interest in things, a decline in conversation, a lack of libido, and much more. It’s essential not to make assumptions and talk about your feelings with your partner. Having a heart-to-heart talk can help you understand their side of the story.

Reassess your priorities

Many times when you feel unwanted in a relationship, it’s necessary to reassess your priorities. First, you need to ask yourself what matters the most to you. If a relationship no longer fulfills your needs and makes you question yourself, it’s time to reconsider how things are. Addressing what you are feeling and keeping your priority in check will be good in the long term.

Focus on things that matter

When you are feeling unwanted, it’s essential to look away. Instead, you need to centre yourself and focus on important things. Remember, feelings are temporary, but the most significant things in life are what matters to you. So instead of overanalyzing scenarios, you need to focus on powerful things.

Remember, you are not the only one who feels unwanted in a relationship

However, sometimes it looks like everything that’s happening to you is a unique experience. While it is indeed new to you, it’s vital to understand everyone feels unwanted at some point. Though It’s not fair, sometimes that’s how life is, and accepting that will help you move forward.

Schedule quality time with your partner

Hence many times because of a busy work schedule and stress, your partner may be making you feel unwanted. In this case, it’s necessary to schedule quality time with your partner and try to understand what their feelings.

Understand the toxic patterns

After you have tried everything, figured out things, and had a conversation, it’s essential to recognize if the relationship is worth fighting for. Because you need to understand if any toxic patterns are being repeated and find the time when you walk out of their relationship. This will be, therefore, better for you emotionally and will help you move forward and heal also.

Speak to a therapist

Though you don’t need to overthink things and suffer in silence. But you can speak to a therapist or professional. Because it’s crucial, as they will help you see things in perspective. Therefore they will also suggest possible ways in which you may not feel unwanted. Then contact United We Care to schedule an appointment with a counsellor or relationship coach.


When you feel unwanted in a relationship, it’s critical to understand not to take things personally. Because you must be prepared to understand the situation, have a good conversation with your partner, and take control of your life. Therefore it would be best if you reassessed your priorities to solve this situation.

However, this will help you move forward in life, and it will not make you feel unwanted anymore. Then you need to address your issues, understand your partner, get help, and move forward. Whatever the case, it’s vital to remember feeling unwanted won’t last forever. 


[1] Jstor.org. [Online]. Available: https://www.jstor.org/stable/352430. [Accessed: 31-Jul-2022].

[2] L. B. Dutton and B. A. Winstead, “Predicting unwanted pursuit: Attachment, relationship satisfaction,
relationship alternatives, and break-up distress,” J. Soc. Pers. Relat., vol. 23, no. 4, pp. 565–586, 2006.

[3] C. M. Dardis and C. A. Gidycz, “The frequency and perceived impact of engaging in in-person and cyber
unwanted pursuit after relationship break-up among college men and women,”
Sex Roles, vol. 76, no. 1–2, pp. 56–72, 2017.

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Author : United We Care

Founded in 2020, United We Care (UWC) is providing mental health and wellness services at a global level, UWC utilizes its team of dedicated and focused professionals with expertise in mental healthcare, to solve 2 essential missing components in the market, sustained user engagement and program efficacy/outcomes.

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