Unhappy Marriage: 5 Ways You Can Avoid An Unhappy Marriage

Introduction

A marriage is considered unhappy when the people involved have negative feelings towards each other. Importantly, it might be any kind of emotion related to disappointment, resentment, sadness, or even anger. It should be noted that this is caused by a variety of reasons. In addition, the causes of an unhappy marriage can range from different priorities, lack of conflict resolution, or infidelity.

Consequences Of Unhappy Marriage

It is important to note that an unhappy marriage can undoubtedly have negative effects on mental and physical state. By the same token, this can lead to an increase in stress and, additionally, make you more vulnerable to other illnesses. Furthermore, the following are some of the consequences often noticed as the result of an unhappy marriage: 

More Conflict

Firstly, an unhappy marriage only creates an unhappy environment. It is considered particularly not hostile enough to live in and have a healthy life.

Decrease in Self-esteem

Specifically, mental health problems are often noticed in partners who are engaged in an unhappy marriage. This might be due to increased anxiety after the conflicts that one has to deal with. This eventually leads to intimacy as the satisfaction and sexual connections suffer. 

Problems with Finances

For instance, if an unhappy marriage results in divorce or separation of any kind, the finances may suffer. This might happen if you have any savings or investments together as a couple.

Effect on Children

Not only the partners but also the children are involved, so an unhappy marriage serves as a disadvantage. In the child’s life as well, mental health issues, unhealthy behaviors or habits, and negative feelings might be noticed. 

Mental Well-Being And Unhappy Marriage

• It should be noted that mental health is indeed affected by an unhappy marriage. 
• Importantly, mental well-being is the state of feeling okay and well-functioning. This includes all different aspects of life, such as professional, social, or even personal. 
• As various factors influence how we feel, mental well-being is similarly affected. 
• Additionally, an unhealthy marriage causes psychological problems, stress, anxiety, and other issues. These issues are mostly emotional or even physical and hurt one’s normal lifestyle. 
• Moreover, even reports prove the same. Particularly, a study in 2018 showed the quality of one’s marriage was considered directly proportional to mental well-being. Again, a study in 2019 showed that it is also a positively affecting factor when it comes to life satisfaction and distress. 

Hence, as a result of an unhappy marriage, happiness and satisfaction only suffer. So, in order to achieve a positive lifestyle, enhancing one’s quality of marriage might actually present some healthy results. 

What Causes Unhappy Marriage Or What Are The Issues Of The Unhappy Marriage

The causes of an unhappy marriage could be many. However, it differs for every couple due to the differences in the challenges in a particular relationship. Considering this, here are a few common issues as followed: 

Different needs and values

Firstly, if one has mismatched needs and beliefs, there is more scope for conflict than having common ground. This leads to feelings of dissatisfaction, which might additionally present frustration or resentment towards each other. 

Lack of communication

Secondly, in order to effectively deal with conflicts, one must be communicative enough regarding their feelings, needs, and even concerns. Undoubtedly, this leads to poor communication of feelings and, in addition, a lack of feelings of trust. This eventually damages the bond, causing severe injury to the relationship. 

Lack of sense of safety

Moreover, abuse in any form can cause harm to the relationship as it makes a partner lose the security in the relationship. Indeed, this also takes away a partner’s safe space, which makes them dishonest about their actual feelings. 

Way of dealing with conflicts

Finally, it is important to note that every time a conflict is avoided, it stays unresolved and causes issues. This might be due to parenting techniques, household chores, or money. This results in bitterness towards the other person if not communicated healthily. 

Is It Possible To Solve The Issues Of An Unhappy Marriage

First and foremost, it should be noted that there is always scope for improvement. So, it is definitely possible to solve the issues of an unhappy marriage if you just acknowledge them first. Furthermore, it takes effort, commitment, and cooperation to get through this tough phase as a couple. If you’re still confused, take tailored help from United We Care in order to deal with any issues related to mental well-being. An unhappy marriage can be solved by the following steps mentioned below and improve the relationship:

Healthy communication

It is definitely impactful if you listen to your partner and have a healthy engagement in expressing feelings. In addition, instead of being judgemental, importantly, try to understand each other.

Act of letting go

Moreover, though unresolved conflicts are an issue, the act of forgiveness can particularly make a difference. So, practicing forgiveness instead of holding grudges or, likewise, apologizing can save an unhappy marriage.

Practicing optimism

Besides other positive gestures, it is important to acknowledge the positive aspects of the relationship. Be it a strength, quality, or other accomplishments as a couple towards each other. 

Setting priorities straight 

Finally, if money, your partner’s parents, and children are issues, then without a doubt, these issues should be talked through. To value one’s relationship, it should be noted that expressing each other’s love and spending time together matters. 

What You Should Do If You Have An Unhappy Marriage

• In order to deal with an unhappy marriage, one must first be aware of the fact that it is unhealthy and toxic. 
• Besides, to continue in the same manner only leads to worse outcomes.
•  One should evaluate one’s options and make a decision regarding separation or improvement. 
• If one decides to leave the marriage, it is important to prepare oneself for it. 
• Nonetheless, it is a tough decision and can be emotionally or financially challenging.
•  Also, one should get support from family, friends, or even professional help as per the requirements. 
• If there are children involved, then it should be noted that they are indeed considered as it will negatively impact them. To minimize the negative effect, one should make sure that they are also understanding of the decision and in the loop. 
• Finally, one should absolutely focus on their mental well-being. Along with this, they should try to lead a happy and satisfied life without being worried about their marital status. 

Conclusion

Going through with a happy marriage requires the partners to put the effort in. In addition, it is important to acknowledge the issues and hope for a better future. It should be noted by the people involved that if they want to get through the tough phase, they will have to stick to a positive mindset.

Undoubtedly, the negative impact can particularly affect one’s mental well-being. Along with this, certain decisions can lead to an unhealthy marriage, either worsening or improving it after all. 

Importantly, one should always consider personal values and situations while making a decision. Because this eventually helps to overcome the conflicts caused and leads to better mental well-being. Whether ending in separation or a stronger partnership, one should always deal with matters of unhappy marriage with patience and understanding. The journey of going through either a difficult marriage or a divorce is never easy. But it can be dealt with healthily if managed properly. 

References

1. L. J. Waite, D. Browning, W. J. Doherty, M. Gallagher, Y. Luo, and S. M. Stanley, “Does divorce make people happy? Findings from a study of unhappy marriages,” Institute for American Values, New York, NY, USA, Rep. 2002. 
2. E. M. Lawrence, R. G. Rogers, A. Zajacova, and T. Wadsworth, “Marital happiness, marital status, health, and longevity,” J. Happiness Stud., vol. 20, no. 5, pp. 1539–1561, Jul. 2018.
3. D. Hawkins and A. Booth, “Unhappy marriages detrimental to self-esteem and health,” Penn State News, University Park, PA, USA, Aug. 14, 2008. 
4. H. Benson and S. McKay, “Should couples in unhappy marriages stay together?” Institute for Family Studies, Charlottesville, VA, USA, Feb. 22, 2017.