Introduction
Many people report feeling taken for granted by their partners. A successful relationship aims at having aspects such as mutual respect, affection and admiration. It is not uncommon to feel as if your contributions are being ignored.
The feeling where you feel that you’re being taken advantage of is very habitual for couples who have spent a significant amount of time. These perspectives can be heavily influenced by external factors and as well people.
Why does my partner take me for granted?
As relationships grow, people become comfortable amongst their own partners and the space they share with them. This enables a person sometimes to feel that the love and support that your partner is giving is going to be the same.
But in actuality some partners need the vocal or outward expression of love and gratitude. This enables appreciation through physical touch and words. These aspects make the relationship stronger mentally.
There is another hidden aspect to this particular problem. When a partner takes you for granted, the presumption that pops up in most of their partners is naturally, why are they taking me for granted? The basic answer to that is simple. There are alot of factors that take care of this presumption. Understanding your partner’s way of showing love, support and gratitude for you. For example one person may express love verbally rather than expressing it through acts of service.
Naturally, when there are stressors such as pressures of job, family problems, or personal turmoil. This may be some of the reasons why a person may be less receptive to their partner’s needs. When a person’s focus is shifted towards a stressor, it is normal that their attention is not on their partner.
It is important that matters such as these be addressed as it is imperative for the survival of any relationship or partnership. First step is always going to be to communicate honestly and openly. Partners need to communicate their expectations, sentiments and what they are feeling. Establishing boundaries during communicating, alongside expressing gratitude helps building bridges between communication gaps.
There is an important note that everyone in a relationship should keep in mind is that a gentle reminder helps the relationship. Couples overcome obstacles and be stronger as a couple by the comprehension of dynamics between them and the appreciation and value of a balanced connection.
How to know my partner takes me for granted?
There are multiple reasons why your partner could take you for granted. But the bottom line to the whole idea of a person taking you for granted is, that it doesn’t always have to mean that they don’t love you !
You’re Not Acknowledged
There would be times when you would feel like you are not being acknowledged by them. The reasons would fill in a thousand books. But, the real reason would be easily understood if you communicate with your partner instead of deciphering it on your own.
You’re Not Included In Plans
Sometimes you would feel like you’re not added in plans or not given the same importance like you used to when you were with your partner in the past. The only way to decipher any of the symptoms of being taken for granted is simple communication and trust helps a lot. Prior engagements sometimes make a person aloof from the person they are the most comfortable with.
You’re Not Supported When Sad
When you’re sad, there must be instances that your partner has not courted you in the right way or made you feel otherwise in that vulnerable moment. A conversation is pending between couples who have issues taking care of their partners when they are sad. Being sad is normal for everyone, but everyone has their own way to handle their sadness. Some people rant it out and some just want to be left alone. A conversation about how to handle emotions in such a vulnerable time is a must with budding relationships.
You’re Never Complimented
There are different ways people like to be complimented or cortes by their partner. Find that balance between you and your partner to avoid insecurities acting up. Some have a way of complimenting by just words, some by acts of service and some just physically such as a hug or a kiss. The balance helps you understand what your partner needs at that very happy vulnerable moment.
You’re Not Given Any Romance Or PDA
There are different ways people show love to their partners. Being romantic and showing public displays of affection is maybe not everyone’s cup of tea? A conversation there too is pending for those who have issues with their partner in this area. Some may love public display of affection and some would feel uncomfortable being vulnerable in front of strangers. The whole game of being in a relationship is being open and honest about issues such as these and finding a balance in between two extremes of a sword. Some partners might be sharp and some just a handle.
My partner takes me for granted. Does he love me?
Communication, patience, two sided stories , mental health references of anxiety, depression, BPD, NPD, PPD personality disorders basically
Complacency is normal in long term relationships, but some partners mistake it for assuming the need to show love is not needed anymore. This assumption amalgamated with wrong communication styles and external stressors contribute to the feeling of being taken for granted.
The very first to this confusion would be being honest and respectful during the conversation you have with your partner. Partners should express their true selves to their partners in a judgment free zone. Otherwise the relationship won’t have the foundation to last long term. To rekindle old lost relationships or partnerships that need some revival, people should make sure that your partner is feeling heard. And remember, just an effort also to show appreciation shows love.
Secondly, the goal is to create a balanced, loving and mutually supportive environment for each other. For that it is vital that after communicating the problem to your partner, the couple understands that change does not happen overnight. Patience and understanding make the relationship of any type flourish beautifully. Change doesn’t happen overnight and that is alright.
Ultimately, people have to address the issue of mental health as one of the most important aspects. There could be a mental health issue that your partner might be going through that they are unable to decipher. Encourage them to gain professional mental health help. This is to understand if they have symptoms of anxiety, depression, ADHD, borderline personality disorder, and or other personality disorders.
What should I do if my partner takes me for granted?
It is difficult to realize and to feel that your partner takes you for granted. But it is imperative to understand if your partner loves you or not. Below if you find information on how to tackle the situation if they do actually love you or not.
Communicating
Communication is imperative in any relationship and the first step to gaining understanding and empathy as well for your partner. It is grave that you choose the perfect time and moment to give information to your partner or discuss certain issues like these. Do not place blame or accuse your partner at the moment of communication, the purpose of the conversation gets lost in the midst of a breakthrough.
Listening
Give your companion a chance to let out whatever they want to say to you. Give them a safe and comfortable space to talk to you. Sometimes people are not even conscious that they are hurting or being insensitive to their partner, only letting them know would make them understand your insecurities and move further towards progression.
Setting Boundaries
Setting boundaries is highly grave to start and to move forward in a relationship. If a person doesn’t form boundaries, then the communication gets lost. Partners in this process assume that they are maintaining the boundaries , on the contrary when they are not.
Personal Needs
Giving yourself space to think clearly is also necessary. A vulnerable moment can throw any emotion, anger, sadness, irritation or even disregard. These emotions when used to show discomfort comes off as being erratic. Instead of taking personal space, thinking about the decisions you have made and what you will be communicating to your partner is important to think about with oneself.
Professional help
At last, seeking mental help is an option that you could encourage to find if the problem persists in the relationship. This is in the case the relationship is stuck in a confusion cyclone.
Conclusion
In conclusion, feeling taken for granted is a huge issue. Especially if the partner does not want to work on it. Communication, trust and respect erodes the very essence of being in a relationship. However addressing the issue and having conversations about the issues and how to solve them brings positive change to every relationship.
Metaphorically speaking, There are different planets in each person’s universe; a planet is one’s whole being and their planets being the major aspects of their life. If a person is letting you in their universe, instead of changing it a person should honor and understand those planets of their universe. Because the personalities and likes and dislikes are a product of those planets that have been curated by them very carefully.
People at United We Care help people who need professional mental help. People should not lose the ones they love because of a misunderstanding. People at United we care are always there to assist you on that!
References
[1] Pace, R. (2023, March 18). 10 signs your spouse takes you for granted and what to do?. Marriage Advice – Expert Marriage Tips & Advice. https://www.marriage.com/advice/save-your-marriage/signs-your-spouse-takes-you-for-granted/
[2] Stinson, A. (n.d.). 7 signs you may be taking your partner for granted and don’t realize it. Bustle. https://www.bustle.com/p/7-signs-you-may-be-taking-your-partner-for-granted-dont-realize-it-17142680
[3] Serai, P. (2022, November 24). Being taken for granted? 71 big signs, why it happens & ways to stop them. LovePanky. https://www.lovepanky.com/my-life/better-life/reasons-why-youre-always-being-taken-for-granted
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