Do you ever find yourself revisiting instances that you wish you had handled differently in your mind? You wish you hadn’t spoken that blunder. You want to volunteer for that award-winning initiative sooner. You wish you’d said anything. You wish you hadn’t blown it with that potential customer. Self-obsession is the term for this overthinking. You obsess over events that have already occurred while worrying about what could happen. You begin to punish yourself for not being more organised, ambitious, brilliant, disciplined, or charming due to this one occurrence.
What Is Obsessing Over Yourself?
Our ability to think about and reflect on our experiences sets humans apart from most other creatures. It enables us to foresee issues and make plans for the future. It also permits us to make sense of the past and understand its significance. For many of us, the problem emerges when we cannot switch off our thinking minds. It’s as if a part of us thinks that by contemplating an issue long enough, we’ll be able to fix it and be free of it. Despite this, our minds might repeatedly replay a problem or event without solving it or seeing things more clearly. Adversity is a part of life for all of us. However, self-obsession or a propensity to obsess over our difficulties might be harmful.
The Dangers Of Self Obsession
Most of the time, self-obsession cripples others around the individual who is oozing it. No one appreciates a person who dominates the discussion and makes it all about themselves. Humans who fall into this group are unaware of how irritating and disagreeable their presence may be. So, if you know someone pretentious and egotistical, these suggestions are especially for you.
Isn’t it better to be safe than to be annoyed? Well, that’s OK. If a person’s presence makes you uncomfortable and you can’t bear hearing about their accomplishments, you have the right to cut all relationships right there. It may appear to be a drastic step, yet it works.
The second alternative is more attainable, but it demands much work. How can you stay away from a narcissist who also happens to be a friend? Set some clear, unambiguous limits that no one is permitted to violate. Define them and take ownership of them.
Do Not Allow Them To Make You Feel Awful About Yourself
You are lovely, and no one should be able to convince you differently. Self-obsessed persons have a habit of exuding overconfidence at all times, which isn’t precisely motivating for their audience.
How To Know If You Have Self Obsession?
You Think Of Yourself As Superior To Others
Some people assume they breathe rare air because they focus on their views, self-image, and attractiveness. They see themselves as a unique breed, someone who others should want to be like and admire. Your responsibility as a spouse of a self-absorbed person is to praise and cherish them. But you’ll never be on the same level as them.
Narcissistic people believe they are always better than others, which drives them to undervalue those around them. The more you prove yourself, the more this self-centred individual will despise you.
You Are Adamant In Your Beliefs
Self-centred personality types that are preoccupied with themselves refuse to listen to other people’s perspectives because they feel only their own beliefs, tastes, and desires are valid.
When you disagree or express a different point of view, the individual with extreme self-obsession perceives it as an attack or a put-down. They see you as an extension of themself, and expressing your thoughts makes their fragile ego feel threatened.
You Conceal Your Insecurities And Weaknesses
While persons with self-obsession may appear to have it all together, this is typically not the case. There’s a deep pool of anxieties underneath the arrogance.
The Effects Of Self Obsession
It’s no surprise that the most undesirable personality attribute in a potential friend or relationship is self-obsession. Most of us find it challenging to retain a sense of empathy and compassion for others. On the other hand, self-centred persons are uninterested in learning about another person’s perspective or feelings. If you look into their world, it will contain an explanation of their personality qualities.
According to recent studies, cultures that value individuality, such as America, fail to infer another person’s viewpoint. Cultures that prioritise interdependence, such as those in Asia, might readily place themselves in the middle.
Young people nowadays do not display the same level of worry about the status of their country or current events that directly affect (or will soon affect) them and their loved ones as previous generations did. Self-care refers to your concern for others, but not at the price of your well-being. Today’s age appears to take it to an unparalleled degree, taking delight in self-obsession and just thinking about their own needs and desires.
How To Stop Self Obsession?
Instead Of Talking, Concentrate On Listening
Try to give them your attention and truly listen to what they say. Self-centred persons are prone to making conversations revolve around themselves, and they become bored when the watch isn’t on them. If this seems like something you’ve done before, don’t do it again! Allow them to express themselves, and do your best to indicate that you’re paying attention.
Put Yourself In The Shoes Of Someone Else
Imagine yourself in their shoes to have a better understanding of them. If a buddy is telling you about something that occurred to them and you’re not interested, imagining yourself in their shoes might assist.
Reduce The Number Of “I” And “Me” Phrases
In every interaction, resist the impulse to talk about oneself. It’s easy to get into this habit, but you won’t be able to focus on anybody else if you’re always talking about yourself. In regular discussion, try to decrease the frequency of “I” and “me” remarks you make. According to studies, talking about yourself less often might make you happier and healthier, so keep that in mind when things become rough.
If you’re worried about being self-centred, you’ve already taken a big step in the right direction. Change may be difficult, so if you need more support along the way, the tips given above can assist you. It is a list of easy things you may do to help you focus more on the needs of others and less on yourself. Even tiny modifications in your day-to-day routine can have a significant impact! So, follow the tips and say bye to self-obsession.