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Dating As A Single Mom: 5 Surprising Tips To Cope With Emotional Baggage And Moving On

April 29, 2023

8 min read

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Author : United We Care
Clinically approved by : Dr.Vasudha
Dating As A Single Mom: 5 Surprising Tips To Cope With Emotional Baggage And Moving On

Introduction

Are you a single mom wanting to start her dating journey again? Dating, in any case, can be challenging. Add on the single mom element, and it can be an emotional roller coaster ride that you might be signing up for. Although dating as a single mom comes with challenges, it can benefit you in a lot of ways. In this article, I will help you explore the benefits and how you can overcome these challenges. It might motivate you to take a step toward finding love and happiness again.

“She has to have four arms, four legs, four eyes, two hearts, and double the love. There is nothing single about a single mom.” — Mandy Hale [1]

What are The Challenges of Dating As A Single Mother?

Dating as a single mother can be challenging for various reasons, including [2]

  1. Limited Free Time: As a single mom, I’m sure you have a lot on your plate. With most of your time going to taking care of work, home, and kids, taking out time for dating can be difficult. You might not get weekends to yourself. In fact, for a lot of single moms, weekends might be busier than weekdays.
  2. Finding Suitable Partners: For a single person, in general, it is hard to find a person who understands them. For a single mom, the task becomes even more difficult because you might feel like you come as a package deal. You might need a person who understands that your first priority will always be your kid, someone who has the right values and lifestyle habits that even your kids can benefit from.
  3. Balancing Priorities: As I said, if you are a single mom, your first priority will always be the kids. So when you start dating, the new relationship might suffer. Your partner might feel neglected and unimportant. Balancing everything all at once can put a lot of pressure on you.
  4. Financial Strain: Single mom is usually alone in supporting themselves and their kids, which can be challenging. Covering daily expenses, house rents, and education costs on a single person’s income is difficult in our economy. Now, if you decide to go on dates, you might have to bear the costs of babysitters, meals, and other expenses that come with dating. Doing all that on a limited budget can be hard.
  5. Dealing with Judgment: For a single mom to be dating is quite unacceptable in the eyes of society. You might have to hear bad words and criticism from people around you. That might create additional stress and anxiety for you to deal with.

lovemyfamily1979 shared on Babycentre about her challenges as a single mom who had just started dating  [2]:

“I was a single mom of 3. I met DF online – on Tagged. He would send me a note whenever I came online asking if he could take me out on a date. I always told him no, I didn’t have enough time. After about six months of him still asking, I thought I’d give it a shot. If anything, maybe he’d be a good guy, or I wouldn’t be as awesome as he thought, and he’d back off. We met in my town to eat and play pool. We talked about what we did and didn’t like. We moved in 2 years later and have a daughter. My advice is not to settle. Have fun, but be safe. Don’t go into it thinking, ‘Is he the one?’ Go slow.”

What are The Benefits of Dating As A Single Mother?

While there are certainly challenges to dating as a single mom, there are also some benefits: [3]

benefits of Dating As A Single Mom

  1. Increased Confidence: When you start going out and dating people, you might realize how many things you are successfully able to manage and take care of. This realization can boost your confidence and your self-esteem.
  2. Improved Social Life: After dealing with hectic schedules of handling work, home, and kids, every day, you might want a break. Dating can give you that much-needed break. By meeting new people, you might even be able to increase your social circle. That way, you will not feel lonely and be able to rejuvenate yourself.
  3. Positive Role Modeling: When you start dating and meeting new people, you might end up being a role model to your kids. They might be able to learn how they can build healthy relationships in a beautiful manner. They might even learn how important it is to go out and be around positive people and take care of your needs than couping in the house, ignoring your needs.
  4. Emotional Support: Being a single mom might seem like a lonely, thankless job. But, having a romantic partner who understands them well can be a huge support. They can provide you with emotional bonding and intimacy.
  5. Potential for a Fulfilling Relationship: Dating as a single mom can lead to a long-term, committed relationship. That way, you can have companionship filled with love and support for both you and your kids.

How Do You Make the Most of Dating As A Single Mother?

Let me share some tips for enjoying dating as a single mom: [4]

  1. You need to prioritize self-care and add exercising, eating healthy, meditation, meeting your friends, etc., to your list of things you need to do.
  2. You should know exactly what you need and want from a new relationship.
  3. You need to be open and honest about communicating your thoughts and feelings rather than keeping it all to yourself.
  4. Don’t settle for the first person you meet. You should be patient and wait for the right person to come along.
  5. You need to be open to meeting different types of people and trying new activities. That way, you can have fun while you try to find the right person.

How Do You Overcome the Challenges of Dating As A Single Mother?

You, as a single mom, might feel that the challenges you are facing are too much and that you will never overcome them. But, trust me, you can [5]:

Overcoming challanges of Dating As A Single Mom

  1. Manage Your Time Effectively: Since you limited free time, you need to learn how to manage your time well. You can use to-do lists and time blocks. In fact, you can schedule the dates when you are not worried about the kids – they can be with grandparents, the other parent, or a babysitter. You can even ask for your dates to plan things closer to your house so that you can rush home in any emergency.
  2. Be Upfront About Your Situation: I feel that all your conversations must start by being honest about your situation as a single mom when you do decide to go on a date. You can let them know that your kids are your number one priority and that you might have a busy schedule, taking care of everything and everyone.
  3. Look for Compatible Partners: Be on the lookout for partners who match your thought process, values, and lifestyle choices. You might even think of dating other single parents. They might understand your situation in a much better manner. You never know, you might end up making a strong bond with them and get the support you need as a single mom. Even if you don’t pursue the relationship further, you can get an understanding friend for life.
  4. Build a Support System: Everyone needs a support system in their lives. You, as a single mom, can find support systems in the form of the elderly in the family, house-helps, child-care facilities, or babysitters around you. It can take away some of the stress and pressure of dating as a single mom.

Conclusion

Single moms have to fulfill multiple roles in life, which requires a lot of effort. Dating in such a situation can seem like a task. However, if you are ready and willing to start the journey, take it slow and be patient with yourself and the people you meet. You might not find the one you’re looking for in the first go itself. But, go out and try to have fun. Your kids can get taken care of by their grandmothers, the other parent, or babysitters. Just do something for yourself also and enjoy!

If you are a single mother who is just starting her dating journey, consult expert counselors and explore content at United We Care! At United We Care, a team of professionals and mental health experts will guide you with the best methods for well-being.

If you are a single mom looking for support on how to start your dating journey again, you can contact our expert counselors or explore more content at United We Care! At United We Care, a team of wellness and mental health experts will guide you with the best methods for well-being.

References

[1]“A quote from The Single Woman.” https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/861874-she-has-to-have-four-arms-four-legs-four-eyes

[2] H. D. App, “The Challenges Of Dating As A Single Parent,” Medium, Feb. 12, 2018. https://hilyapp.medium.com/the-challenges-of-dating-as-a-single-parent-f4cf04bba4ab

[3]“12 Reasons Dating as a Single Mom is Better – Single Moms by Choice, Infertility and Egg Donors,” 12 Reasons Dating Single Mom is Better – Single Moms by Choice, Infertility and Egg Donors, May 18, 2021. https://motherhoodreimagined.com/dating-as-a-single-mom-by-choice/

[4] T. Editors, “The truth about dating as a single mom in India,” Tweak India, Jun. 08, 2020. https://tweakindia.com/wellness/sex-relationships/the-truth-about-dating-as-a-single-mom-in-india/

[5] “5 dating challenges for single parents to overcome,” The Indian Express, Apr. 04, 2019. https://indianexpress.com/article/parenting/family/dating-challenges-single-parents-5658933/

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Author : United We Care

Founded in 2020, United We Care (UWC) is providing mental health and wellness services at a global level, UWC utilizes its team of dedicated and focused professionals with expertise in mental healthcare, to solve 2 essential missing components in the market, sustained user engagement and program efficacy/outcomes.

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