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What Sexologists Say About the Cycle of Serial Monogamy in Dating

January 4, 2022

6 min read

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Author : United We Care
What Sexologists Say About the Cycle of Serial Monogamy in Dating

Introduction
Monogamy is a form of relationship where a person is emotionally and physically attached to one person without being in any other relationship at that time.

What Does Serial Monogamy Mean?

Serial monogamy is the form of relationship where people quickly jump from one relationship to another. A serial monogamist does not cheat on their partner but cannot stay in one committed relationship for a long time.

What are the Cycles of Serial Monogamy?

  1. Difficulty to stay single
  2. Try to engage in a deeper relationship as soon as possible.
  3. Uncomfortable being alone.
  4. Having a little to no gap between two consecutive relationships.

A serial monogamist begins a relationship, turns it into a deeper commitment, and finally breaks up to start a new relationship, only to break up again. This repetitive pattern is called the cycle of serial monogamy. The cycle continues because a serial monogamist can never stay with the same person for very long.

According to sexologists, a serial monogamous person has difficulty staying single and will want to engage in a deeper relationship as soon as possible because they are uncomfortable being alone. So, they tend to leave a very little gap between two consecutive relationships.

5 Common Misconceptions About The Cycle of Serial Monogamy in Dating

  • Serial monogamous and serial dating are the same: There is a big difference between a serial monogamist and a serial dater. A serial dater will go on several dates with different partners.
  • A serial monogamous person will not enter into a committed relationship: Serial monogamists get involved in a committed relationship but only for a short span of a few months. After a breakup, they will quickly look for another partner, and the cycle of serial monogamy will continue.
  • A cycle of serial monogamy rooted in non-treatable mental disorders: If serial monogamy is related to any mental disorder, therapy can be helpful in such situations.
  • Serial monogamists do not marry: Many serial monogamists get married to their partners. However, they do not stay in the relationship for long.
  • All serial monogamous people have mental disorders: While serial monogamy may be due to mental disorders, this is not always the case. Some people might just not want to get involved in one permanent relationship.

The Most Pervasive Problems in Serial Monogamy in Dating

  • A serial monogamous person has difficulty being single and feels like they need to be in a relationship. 

The thought of being single can be mentally disturbing for them. Their transition from one committed relationship to another is usually fast because they cannot tolerate being single for a long time.

  • Serial monogamists are addicted to the concept of falling in love.

They are addicted to the excitement of a new relationship. They love the excitement, fun, and lust, which slowly fades in an old relationship. Serial monogamists love the so-called honeymoon phase of a new relationship, during which the new partner is attractive and thrilling.

  • Serial monogamy is compared to the addiction of love.

In serial monogamy, a person becomes addicted to the high of a new relationship. Once the high is over, they tend to look for a new relationship.

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What is the Cycle of Serial Monogamy in Dating?

According to sexologists, the excitement of a new relationship activates the reward center in the brain. It releases dopamine in the brain that generates a feeling of euphoria or the happiness of achievement that gets activated by consuming drugs and other addictions.

What is the Opinion of Sexologists about Serial Monogamy and its Cycles?

According to sexologists, some serial monogamist red flags are:

  1. There is barely any gap between the end of one relationship and the beginning of another.
  2. A serial monogamist will not like it when their demand for exclusivity is not accepted.
  3. They might be engaged more than three times without getting married even once. Or they may have been married multiple times for short periods without losing their partner to death.
  4. They tend to rush their relationships. For instance, they might ask their partners to move on after the second date. They follow the same pattern in all the relationships they have.
  5. A serial monogamist’s friends and family members will agree that they were never single.

Is Serial Monogamy Harmful?

The partner in serial monogamy might become serious in the relationship. But when the newness of the relationship fades away; and new challenges emerge, the serial monogamist will move out of the relationship. The breakup may leave the partner emotionally shattered.

On the other hand, a cycle of serial monogamy might turn out to be harmful to serial monogamists as well. Serial monogamists engage in quick and irrational relationships that do not let them engage in secure relationships. To get into a new relationship, a serial monogamist might take hasty decisions, such as leaving a job or changing locations. When the relationship eventually ends, it turns out to be harmful to both the partners, even the serial monogamist.

According to sexologists, serial monogamists are continuously at risk of contracting sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Serial monogamists and their partners are at a high risk of contracting sexually transmitted diseases because they change partners quite frequently.

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How to Break The Cycle of Serial Monogamy?

Maintaining a healthy relationship that is devoid of insecurities is essential for our mental and physical health. People with attachment issues should introspect and seek help from close family members or friends. They can also seek help by consulting mental health professionals to figure out how to break the cycle of serial monogamy. Getting support and guidance is very important to come out of unhealthy relationship cycles such as serial monogamy.

Is Mental Disorder Associated with Serial Monogamy?

Serial monogamy might be associated with mental disorders such as borderline personality disorder or narcissistic personality disorder. People with borderline personality disorder might engage in serial monogamy as they have fears of abandonment. People with narcissistic personality disorder engage in serial monogamy because they want to be in a romantic relationship to get attention and praise.

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Author : United We Care

Founded in 2020, United We Care (UWC) is providing mental health and wellness services at a global level, UWC utilizes its team of dedicated and focused professionals with expertise in mental healthcare, to solve 2 essential missing components in the market, sustained user engagement and program efficacy/outcomes.

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