Mommy issues can deeply influence a woman’s ability to bond with others. Mommy issues refer to the attachment related concerns a woman faces. These issues result from the woman’s own relationship with her mother. A woman develops mommy issues in the mid to later part of her adult life. Through this article, we find out the signs and ways to cope with mommy issues.
What are Mommy Issues in Women?
Women can have difficulty forming a healthy bond with others in adulthood. One of the main causes for this is their own relationships with their mother growing up. Mommy issues refer to the mothering issues a girl faces while growing up.
Typically, mommy issues consist of difficulty in forming a secure and stable attachment. This stems from the mother’s rearing of the child during the initial years after birth. If the rearing by the mother is inconsistent or unstable, the child will develop mommy issues.
Similarly, in adulthood women get impacted by the early years of insecurity experienced as a child. This translates into difficulty in forming and maintaining relationships. Since, the child learnt to receive love from the mother in an erratic fashion, they are erratic as grown ups.
For instance, a child who is a highly critical mother will always be critical towards their loved ones as grown ups. They might also be self critical and judgemental as an adult . This is because of how they were nurtured by their mother as a child.
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What do Mommy Issues in Women look like?
Mommy issues might go unnoticed in the young adult phase. A lot of the self image concerns and erratic relationships are attributed to the raging hormones. However, unlike normal fading of these concerns in late adulthood, these concerns persist.
Ideally, a woman with mommy issues displays several difficulties related to self image and perception of their close relationships. This includes being excessively controlling, looking for reassurance without any reasons, having trust issues, and so on.
Other signs include having a low self esteem and a people pleasing attitude. In romantic relationships they might smother their partners in phases and fixate on the relationship over other relationships.
Similarly, women with mommy issues have a difficult self perception. They feel that they only deserve love if they have earned it. And to earn it they have to compromise their needs and other relationships.
What are the symptoms of Mommy Issues in Women?
- Attachment Style: First, to understand the symptoms of mommy issues , it is important to understand attachment styles. Attachment style refers to the process of bonding between the parent and child, in this case between the mother and the child. The way a mother shows her love, nurtures and provides love to the child has a significant impact in their adulthood.
- Avoidant or insecure attachment: Secondly, an avoidant or insecure attachment parenting style of the mother is more likely to cause mommy issues in the child. This type of attachment style consists of silencing or avoiding the child when they are not able to handle their emotions. Consequently, as the child grows into a woman, she learns to avoid addressing her emotions or gives the silent treatment regularly.
- Dysfunctional attachment: Thirdly, dysfunctional attachment with mother results in a negative self image. The woman feels inadequate and riddles with insecurities due to not having a stable role model growing up. Usually, the mother is the role model.
- Anxiousness, avoidance, low confidence: Finally, the symptoms of mommy issues in women are anxiousness, avoidance, low confidence and high insecurities. These symptoms manifest in their close friendships and with their partners. They might also struggle personally.
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What Causes Mommy Issues in Women?
As we discussed, one of the main causes of mommy issues is faulty parenting style. Parents are the first point of contact for a child. The child learns how to love by the way the parent shows love. If the child is unable to meet their needs through the parents, she develops a faulty perception about love and relationships.
Meanwhile, the parent also acts as a role model for the child, particularly, the mother. If the mother doesn’t know how to express her emotions or has control issues, the child imitates the same. This is one of the main causes behind faulty attachment style passing on from grandmother to mother to child.
Finally, divorce,death or any other reason due to which the child gets separated from the mother leaves a detrimental impact. If while growing up, there’s no stable mother figure available for a child, she struggles as a grown up woman. It has a significant impact on the emotional development of the woman.
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How to Overcome Mommy Issues in Women?
Above all, it is important to overcome mommy issues as they severely affect emotional and social wellbeing. To begin overcoming mommy issues, you begin by acknowledging that you have mommy issues.
In order to accept that you have mommy issues, you need to introspect on your own relationship with yourself. Also, this requires that you reflect on your relationship with your mother. This can be especially tough for some women.
Ideally, for acceptance and working on your mommy issues, professional help is the most effective. The process of therapy can help ease the process of confirming your concerns . Alternatively, therapy can also help acquire coping skills for mommy issues.
All in all, embracing your reality is the first step towards overcoming mommy issues. Communicating your childhood difficulties with those who might be affected will help ease the difficulties. Communication will get you the support that you need as well.
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Through this article we learnt what mommy issues look like. And, how women in their mid and late adulthood are likely to have difficulties due to mommy issues. To learn more about mommy issues, read this article about how it affects men.
Overall, we learn about why mommy issues happen. Also, how do we overcome mommy issues as a woman is discussed. To reach out for professional help, consider the United We Care.
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 B. Webster, “Why it’s Crucial for Women to Heal the Mother Wound.” Accessed: Oct. 23, 2023. [Online]. Available: https://nadinemacaluso.com/nadine-resources/Healing%20the%20Mother%20Wound.pdf
 E. Ali, N. Letourneau, and K. Benzies, “Parent-Child Attachment: A Principle-Based Concept Analysis,” SAGE Open Nursing, vol. 7, p. 237796082110090, Jan. 2021, doi: https://doi.org/10.1177/23779608211009000.