Mommy Issues in Women: Causes, Signs, Psychology, Therapy

Introduction

However, in the wild age of internet memes, terms like ‘mommy issues’ and ‘daddy issues are not new. Hence, many people are unaware that though these terms sound cringe-worthy, these issues stem from childhood behavioural patterns deeply rooted in human behaviour well into adulthood. These issues have real-life consequences. Keep reading to know more about the psychology of men with mommy issues.

Read more about What causes Mommy Issues in men?

What are mommy issues?

When a man acts as if he is seeking a substitute mother rather than an equal partner, or a man responding to unresolved issues with his mother rather than his partner, is someone who has mommy issues[1]. So mommy issues are issues grownups carry to adulthood due to their relationship with their mothers. It is not uncommon for guys to have mommy issues when they are overly attached to their mothers. So there’s a possibility that he might have mommy issues if he talks to her several times a day. Just think momma’s boy in the extreme.

Signs of Mommy Issues:

According to mommy, issues manifest differently in different individuals. These are seen both in men and women.

Become clingy
Feelings of inadequacy
Anxiety in relationships
Absence of independence
Intimacy is uncomfortable
Having high demands or being critical
A strained relationship with your mom
A very high level of sensitivity to criticism
The inability to show vulnerability or trust
Relationship boundaries are underdeveloped
Caretaking that goes beyond what is necessary
Relationship commitment leads to “cold feet.”
Making decisions requires maternal guidance.
Tendency to date people who are like their mothers
An inability to spend time with or discuss their mother
Romantic partners are expected to contribute more than their fair share to household tasks or childcare
There is a need for approval and affection or difficulties showing appreciation or rapid switching between them

Why do mommy issues occur?

General causes:

Overbearing parents
An unsolving parent
an absent or primarily absent parent
Neglectful treatment of the other parent by one parent
A parent who abuses their children emotionally or physically

In research, mothers reacted differently toward their children based on how they treated them. The results of several studies show that mothers who felt supported and accepted as children by their mothers were more likely to have a balanced relationship with them as adults. They exhibited greater sensitivity to their child’s needs than their peers.

So, in a study by the same group, mothers who recall having been accepted by their mother later on in life formed strong bonds with their children and in other relationships.

On the other hand, mothers who experienced excessive protection and constant entanglements with their mothers grew up avoiding or being insecure around their children. As a result, moms who were dismissive of their children or overly critical of them must also be held accountable.

What are the signs of mommy issues in daughters?

Unlike popular belief, mommy issues can be seen in women too. However, they manifest differently in women.

However, unkind or judgmental mothers might raise their daughters with poor self-esteem. As an adult, you may experience a lot of shame and insecurity if your mother constantly pointed out your flaws or criticized your appearance growing up. As a result, unhealthy relationship patterns or mental health symptoms may occur, such as depression and anxiety.

Likewise, a relationship that lacks boundaries between parent and child can cause problems.

Mommy issues in females:

Not having enough female friends
Difficulty in creating emotional bonds
Resentment towards themselves
Insecurities and Trust Issues
Being a tomboy
Avoiding profound relationships
Inability to express emotions

Overcoming mommy issues:

Hence it can be challenging to unpack your mommy issues because they are deeply rooted and stem from ongoing behaviour that happened in the past. So there may be some memories you’ve buried or past trauma you’ve tried to ignore — ignoring these feelings will make it challenging to overcome the struggles you’re experiencing.

Some ways to overcome mommy issues are:

A network of emotional support
Self-aware of the past
Psychotherapy

A network of emotional support:

Women who were abused by their mothers and have broken the cycle are more likely to have supportive supporters in the future. Relationship with a partner and social support from their community was integral to the individual’s emotional and mental health.

Self-aware of the past:

People who break the cycle of abuse are aware of their past. As well as anger, they expressed awareness of the abuse they had been subjected to. Emphasizing these actions prevents people from repeating them in the future.

Psychotherapy[2]:

So individuals who have recovered from mommy issues have also undergone psychotherapy. However, they could identify abuse they experienced in the past, mourn it, and gain perspective on how and why it occurred.

In addition to assisting you in unpacking your emotions and healthily processing them, a mental health professional can teach you how to cope with them, allowing you to work towards healthier relationships. So being challenged by these things isn’t a reason to feel ashamed or to feel embarrassed about seeking therapy for it. Now it’s not your fault that you have mommy issues and can’t pick your birth mother or father. Remember that hard work can help you overcome problems and establish loving, fulfilling relationships.

Benefits of therapy:

Hence, find out what you needed from your relationship with your mother but didn’t receive
So, if it feels correct and appropriate to you, discuss issues with your mother, and develop skills for healthy romantic relationships.
Now establish healthy boundaries.
Receive treatment for mental health disorders such as anxiety and depression, as well as codependency, people-pleasing tendencies, or toxic shame

Conclusion:

However, United We Care offers you a wide range of solutions. In addition, you can approach a psychologist or life coach for support. We have free online tests.

Now don’t be afraid to break the cycle of trauma. Free yourselves from the clutches of emotional abuse and self-harm. Start your self-care journey now! Break the stigma around therapy and consult a therapist today!

References:

[1] C. Contogenis, “All the best strangers have mommy issues,” Swosu.edu. [Online]. Available: https://dc.swosu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1453&context=westview. [Accessed: 28-Jul-2022].

[2] C. Shane, “Mommy issues: Reconsidering the mermaid and the Minotaur,” Dissent, vol. 65, no. 3, pp. 93–100, 2018.

[3] K. Taylor and Hannah Royal, “Daddy (or mommy) issues: How your childhood influences your romantic relationships,” in S.C.O.M. Undergraduate Research Conference, 2018.