“Always trying, never reaching
The high standards that I set
And the more and more I try
The more frustrated I seem to get
It’s just never quite good enough
Always something wrong
I really need it to be perfect
Why is it taking me so long?“
The world today seems to be following the trend of having a picture-perfect lifestyle. Especially the young people, whether it’s about getting top grades, being skillful in sports, trying to have the perfect skin and body or posting the most picture-perfect moments on social media. But behind all these flawless achievements, many are struggling with the anxiety, stress and self-doubt that come with this perfectionism. Thus let us take a closer look at how this pressure is affecting youth mental health and what we can do to help.
What drives Perfectionism among Youth?
- Young people often compare their own lives to the seemingly flawless ones portrayed online by peers and influencers, which can result in a distorted sense of self-worth (Timothy Jarocha, 2024). Social media is one of the major factors of perfectionism among youth. Social media only shows moments from people’s life, which are picture-perfect. The flawless selfies, the academic and sports achievements, the perfect skin and body, the perfect lifestyle, all contribute in making young people feel that they need to do more and keep up with others.
- Another factor is societal expectations. A lot of young people feel that they need to meet the high standards and expectations that have been set by their parents, teachers and relatives. While trying to achieve success is not bad, the constant need to be perfect can cause burnouts, self doubt and feelings of inadequacy among youth. According to a research conducted by APA (American Psychological Association, 2022), high expectations from parents can lead to more perfectionism in kids. This is because the way parents act and what they expect influences how children see success and failure.
- The world has become so competitive that young people often feel the need to compete with their peers for social status. This can sometimes lead to unhealthy comparisons. The desire to do better than their friends and peers in different areas can further lead the young people to strive for perfectionism.
The Impact on Youth Mental Health
Trying to be too perfect can have an impact on the mental health of young people. Let us explore each one with examples to better understand how it impacts youth mental health:
1. Increased Anxiety and Stress
Recent research shows that perfectionism among teenagers has risen in the last few decades, with studies showing that nearly 30% of adolescents are experiencing maladaptive forms of perfectionism which can lead them to feel pain and emotional struggles. (Newport Academy Staff, 2024). Young people aiming for perfection can feel the constant pressure to succeed. For instance, a high school student might stay up revising their assignment multiple times, fearing that it is not good enough. Even after submitting it, they may keep thinking whether they could have done it better. The need to do better can become overwhelming and can lead to chronic stress and anxiety.
2. Fear of Failure
A study by Solomon and Rothblum (1984) showed that around 60% of people said that procrastination was mainly driven by the fear of failure. Perfectionists usually avoid situations where they feel that they might fail or make mistakes, which can hold them back and cause extra stress. This happens because they might feel that any mistake or shortcomings reflect their worth, which can often lead them to avoid situations where failure is a possibility.
3. Low Self- Esteem
It is common for someone to feel unsatisfied when they fail to meet the expectations and standards they have set for themselves. For example a student that scores a 95% on a test. Instead of celebrating their success, they might focus on the 5% mark that they missed. Such critical thinking about themselves can gradually become a habit and over time can affect their self esteem, which can make them feel that they are not good enough even if they perform well.
4. Mental health Struggles
A research done by Curran and Hill (2019), stated that people having set high standards for themselves or feel pressured by others were found to be about 70% more likely to show signs of depression compared to those who aren’t as perfectionistic.Struggling with perfectionism for a long time has been linked to mental health issues such as depression, anxiety disorders and eating disorders.
How to Help Youth Overcome Perfectionism
To help combat the harmful effects of perfectionism among youth, it is important to foster a healthy mindset in young people. Some ways to tackle perfectionism are:
1. Promote Self-Compassion
Encourage people to treat themselves with kindness, especially when they make mistakes. Reminding them that nobody is perfect and failure is part of growth can help them in overcoming perfectionism.
2. Limiting Social Media Exposure
Assist young people in recognizing that what they observe on social media is not always true. Placing limits on the use of social media can help the feeling of comparison and help decrease mental health concerns. A survey showed that teenagers who took a break from social media stated that there was a significant decrease in feelings of inadequacy and there was a 30% improvement in their mental health scores (Timothy Jarocha, 2024).
3. Focusing on effort more than the outcome
Instead of focusing more on their achievements, praising them for their effort and hard work that they put in helps. This helps to shift the focus away from unrealistic goals.
4. Encouraging Open Conversations
Try to create a safe space where young people can talk about their emotions freely, without the fear of being judged. Open conversations about mental health can help reduce the stigma and it can encourage them to seek help when needed.
5. Seeking Professional Support
When the need for perfectionism becomes excessive for a young person, it would be better to consider consulting a mental health professional. Therapy can help them develop healthier thought patterns and cope with their feelings in a more effective way.
Conclusion – Finding balance beyond perfection
Perfectionism is often romanticized as a positive trait, usually celebrated for driving ambition and high achievements. But the reality is not as true as it seems, it is quite complex. For a lot of young adults, perfectionism brings a lot of pressure, fear of failure and mental health struggles that can notably affect their well-being.
By being able to recognize the factors that drive perfectionism, such as, social media, societal expectations, peer competition, we can start to address its effects. By encouraging self compassion, reducing social media comparisons, focusing on effort over outcomes and fostering open conversations can help young people find the balance that they need in their lives.
In the end, it is important to remind people that being human is not about being perfect. Life does not consist in seeking perfection but in embracing the flaws and struggles and the journey of growth.
References
– Lital Yosopov, Saklofske DH, Smith MM, Flett GL, Hewitt PL. Failure Sensitivity in Perfectionism and Procrastination: Fear of Failure and Overgeneralization of Failure as Mediators of Traits and Cognitions. Journal of psychoeducational assessment. Published online May 6, 2024.
https://doi.org/10.1177/07342829241249784
– Jacobson R. Social Media and Self-Doubt. Child Mind Institute. Published September 2, 2022.
https://childmind.org/article/social-media-and-self-doubt/
– Anxiety, Perfectionism and Fear of Failure – Dr Jan Philamon Psychologist Brisbane | M1 Psychology. https://m1psychology.com/anxiety-perfectionism-and-the-fear-of-failure/
– Solomon L. J., Rothblum E. D. (1984). Academic procrastination: Frequency and cognitive-behavioral correlates. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 31(4), 503–509. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-0167.31.4.503
