Almost 50 years ago, psychiatrists tried to find the most distressing human experience one can have. The top three on the list were: the death of a spouse, divorce and marital separation. This is a clear indicator that the bond of marriage is undoubtedly one of the strongest bonds a human being can have. As in any relationship, cohabitation is bound to lead to conflicts in marriage. While some couples can resolve their differences by working with each other, in some cases, the help of a marriage counsellor makes this transition much more accessible. To avoid such a situation, we’ll help you with some tips to strengthen your marriage.
Signs of Your Marriage is in Trouble
But what signs indicate that your marriage needs more work and external guidance for better functioning? Here are some signs that your wedding is in trouble:
1. You Only See Your Partner’s Bad Side
No human is entirely good or entirely bad. If you or your partner can only see flaws in each other, then some significant concerns in the marriage need to be addressed.
2. You Fight Over Trivial Issues
There is nothing wrong with having healthy arguments in any relationship. Whether it’s about who will win a sports match or how the bed should be made, these conflicts generally do not deteriorate a relationship. However, imposing opinions or decisions on your partner during a game is not okay. If one or both of you have the habit of digging your feet into the ground regarding a matter without trying to resolve it, then the core issue might be something different or more profound.
3. You Don’t Like Spending Time Together
Sometimes, being with your friends and colleagues rather than your partner for the weekend is healthy. But it is not fit if you start making excuses and enjoy spending time away from your partner regularly.
4. You Think About Having an Affair
Being attracted to anyone other than your spouse is biological, but fantasizing about being with another person while in a marriage shows that you are more interested in someone else than your partner. This means that you are missing something in your current relationship.
5. Your Partner is Not Your ‘Go-To’ Person
In a marriage, your partner is the first person you call when something good or bad happens. They are your ‘go-to’ person for emotional support. If your partner isn’t the first person you reach out to when you’re feeling low or to celebrate your success, it may be a sign that something is wrong.
Tips to Strengthen a Failing Marriage
So, what can one do if more than two of the signs mentioned above get a tick from your end? Well, a little bit of work can fix a lot of things. Here’s how to strengthen your marriage:
1. Transparent Communication
Communication is critical in building and strengthening any relationship. Instead of closing up after an argument, give each other some time off and re-approach your partner with a calmer mind. Be open about your feelings without placing guilt on your partner. Try to fix what you were arguing about instead of trying to win the argument.
2. Positive Words and Actions
Create a journal and write one positive thing about your partner every day. It could be words spoken, and it could be what they did. Be grateful for that one positive thing. Express your gratitude to your partner with a friendly ‘Thank You’. It’ll surely make their day.
3. Take Disappointments with a Pinch of Salt
No relationship can be free of disappointments, so when your partner’s small actions, like not accompanying you to the market or skipping your workout together, disappoint you, accept it instead of fighting about it. Understand that everyone functions differently and gives importance to different things on different days. The sooner you get the situation instead of fighting it, the sooner it will lead you to peace and emotional recovery.
4. Set Common Goals
There is no more excellent aphrodisiac than the high you get when you accomplish your goals together. Create common short & long-term goals together as a couple and work towards them. Every time you achieve it, your love for each other is bound to get re-ignited.
5. Be Present in Each Other’s Company
With so much digital clutter, honest conversations are becoming increasingly complex. This can also lead to a growing distance between partners. Thus, each day takes time away from all the digital voices around you to spend time with your partner. Decide on a time you can pay with each without your mobile phones or any other gadgets. Be present in the moment with your partner and listen and talk about your day, using this time to reflect upon your actions and each other.
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