How to Strengthen a Failing Marriage and Reconnect?


Almost 50 years ago, psychiatrists tried to find the most distressing human experience one can have. The top three on the list were: death of a spouse, divorce and marital separation. This is a clear indicator that the bond of marriage is certainly one of the strongest bonds a human being can have. As in any relationship, co-habitation is bound to lead to conflicts in marriage. While some couples are able to resolve their differences by working with each other, in some cases, the help of a marriage counselor makes this transition much easier. To avoid such a situation, we’ll help you out with some tips to make your marriage stronger.

Signs Your Marriage is in Trouble

But what are the signs that indicate that your marriage needs some more work and external guidance for better functioning? Here are some signs that your marriage is in trouble: 

1. You Only See Your Partner’s Bad Side 

No human is entirely good or entirely bad. If you or your partner can only see flaws in each other, then there are some major concerns in the marriage that need to be addressed.

2. You Fight Over Trivial Issues

There is nothing wrong in having healthy arguments in any relationship. Whether it’s about who is going to win a sports match or the manner in which the bed should be made, these types of conflicts generally do not deteriorate a relationship. However, it is not okay to impose opinions or decisions on your partner during a conflict. If one or both of you have the habit of digging your feet into the ground regarding a matter without trying to resolve it, then the core issue might be something different, or deeper.

3. You Don’t Like Spending Time Together

Sometimes, it is healthy to be with your friends and colleagues rather than your partner for the weekend. But it not healthy if you start making excuses and enjoy spending time away from your partner on a regular basis.

4. You Think About Having an Affair

To be attracted to anyone else than your spouse is biological, but fantasizing about being with another person while in a marriage shows that you are more interested in someone else than your partner. This clearly means that you are missing something in your present relationship.

5. Your Partner is Not Your ‘Go-To’ Person 

In a marriage, your partner is the first person you call when something good or bad happens in life. They are your ‘go-to’ person for emotional support. If your partner isn’t the first person you reach out to when you’re feeling low or to celebrate your success, it may be a sign that something is wrong.

Tips to Strengthen a Marriage

So, what can one do if more than two of the above-mentioned signs get a tick from your end? Well, a little bit of work can fix a lot of things. Here’s how to strengthen your marriage:

1. Transparent Communication

Communication is key in building and strengthening any relationship. Instead of closing up after an argument, give each other some time off and re-approach your partner with a calmer mind. Be open about your feelings without placing guilt on your partner. Try to fix what you were arguing about instead of trying to win the argument.

2. Positive Words and Actions

Create a journal and write one positive thing about your partner every day. It could be words spoken. It could be what they did. Be grateful for that one positive thing. Express your gratitude to your partner with a nice ‘Thank You’. It’ll surely make their day.

3. Take Disappointments with a Pinch of Salt 

No relationship can be free of disappointments, so when your partner’s small actions like not accompanying you to the market or skipping your workout together disappoints you, accept it instead of fighting about it. Understand that everyone of us function differently and give importance to different things on different days. The sooner you accept the situation instead of fighting it, the sooner it would lead you to a path of peace and emotional recovery.

4. Set Common Goals

There is no greater aphrodisiac than the high you get when you accomplish your goals together. Create common short & long-term goals together as a couple and work towards them. Every time you achieve it, your love for each other is bound to get re-ignited.

5. Be Present in Each Other’s Company

With so much of digital clutter around us, having real conversations is becoming increasingly difficult. This can also lead to a growing distance between partners. Thus, each day take out time away from all the digital voices around you to spend time with your partner. Decide on a time you can spend with each without your mobile phones or any other gadgets. Be present in the moment with your partner and listen and talk about your day, using this time as a way to reflect upon your actions as well along with each other.

With a little help, you can always make your emotional bond better with your life partner. However, in case the issues are deeper and the situations are hard to navigate, then a little help from a relationship counselor can set your marriage onto the right path. Check out our marriage counseling services on the homepage.

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