How to Stop Loving Someone and Move On

Love is complicated. It’s messy, confusing, complex, and inexplicably wonderful. Many people would agree that people can’t help whom they fall in love with. While in some cases it works out, in most cases, it doesn’t. Sometimes everything works, and you lead a peaceful life, sometimes you fall for someone who doesn’t love you back, sometimes people can’t make their love last, and sometimes the person you love has too many flaws to ignore.

Even when it is crystal clear that the relationship will not work out, it is difficult to turn off your emotions.

“But, Can you stop loving someone?” 

The answer is yes. It is possible.

This article will talk about different ways to help you start the healing process and move on.

What are the things you can do to stop loving someone?

1. Accept the truth of the situation
2. Recognise your relationship needs and deal breakers
3. Look forward to your future
4. Spend time with your loved ones
5. Understand that healing takes time
6. Give yourself time and space
7. Love yourself
8. Go to a mental health professional

Accept the truth of the situation

If the relationship is not working out, is it worth holding onto that love? It only causes you pain and suffering. What do you do? You need to:

1. Accept the truth – While you love this person with your whole heart and soul, maybe it’s not meant to be. Once you accept this, you can slowly start healing. Just because this relationship did not work, it doesn’t mean you failed.
2. Have the courage – It takes much courage to accept and recognise this pain. It is a sign of self-awareness and growth.
3. Be optimistic – Being positive and having the ability to hold onto hope in painful situations is a sign of strength.

Recognise your relationship needs and deal breakers

Knowing what you want and don’t want from a relationship can help you understand when a relationship isn’t meant for you. If communication is one of the things you need in a relationship, make that clear. If you see a partner not talking to you for days and find them online, it is a good indicator that they may not be a good match for you.

Look forward to your future

Staying stuck on a person who doesn’t love you not only hurts you but limits you. While it may take you some time to be ready for another relationship, meeting new people is a great way to move on. Going on casual dates is a great way to make you understand that there are so many great people out there. You must be open and honest with the people you are dating. Communicating to each other on what you can and can’t give is essential to keep any relationship going. Even if it takes time, keep looking forward. 

Spend time with your loved ones

When you’re heartbroken, your family and friends prove to be a great support system. 

1. Watch movies with them
2. Cook your favourite meals
3. Go out for a walk.
4. Spend quality time with them

These activities not only will make you feel good but them too. But be careful of people who judge you in your time of need. If they fail to understand what you’re going through or make you feel bad, it would be best to limit your time with them.

Understand that healing takes time

The love you have for someone does go away. But with time. Once you accept that, it makes your healing process better. You can’t just get up one day and forget about the person you loved and cared for so deeply. As you heal, it will feel uncomfortable and painful. But realize that is okay. To love someone so deeply is only human. But remind yourself that pain is part of the process, and this won’t last forever.

Give yourself time and space

You might want to avoid contacting your love. A simple text or Snapchat may rekindle those old feelings again. If you were friends who used to spend time together, it is best to hang out with other friends. If you were friends and things ended healthily, you may want to keep that friendship going, only if you are ready.

Love yourself

It probably sounds cliche, but it is the absolute truth. When we love someone so much, we sometimes change ourselves as per their perspective and forget to love ourselves in the process. Imagine the love you gave that person; won’t you share the same love and care for yourself? You can engage in any of these activities to pamper and care for yourself.

1. Watch movies
2. Eat your favourite food
3. Get fit
4. Upskill yourself
5. Go out for a spa day 

Do anything to pamper yourself. Sometimes all you need in this world is yourself.

Go to a mental health professional

Loving someone and not being with them can be very painful. If none of the above tips works out, seek a therapist. If you have trouble accepting your feelings, feel sad and confused, or have a hard time living your life, it is best to talk to a therapist. Therapy provides a safe, non-judgmental space to express yourself and talk through strategies to address your problems. A therapist can teach you different ways to cope and manage your emotions safely till the intensity of your feeling goes down.

Final words

We, humans, are complex beings with a myriad of emotions. Sometimes, no matter how much you love someone, it doesn’t work out. You can’t turn off your feelings and move on at the drop of a hat. While it may take time, you will find ways to help you understand and accept those feelings. Acceptance and loving yourself are keys to helping you grow towards an upbeat version of yourself. When all else fails, seeking a therapist to help you positively manage your feelings is the next best thing to do.