Being disappointed by people you love, at some point or other, is inevitable. There can be various reasons why you feel let down, cancellation of last-minute arrangements, absence at significant occasions, mean or deceitful behavior, a co-worker throwing you under the bus, and the list goes on.
Dealing with Friends Who Disappoint You
It takes us time to establish relationships and friendships with people. We start trusting them with our thoughts and problems. Gradually, we begin to get attached to them and expect them to be there for us. However, when such expectations are not met, we feel hurt and question the credibility of our friendship. So, should you move on and make new friends or have a difficult conversation and confront friends that disappoint you?
We often stumble upon such conflicting situations and are not sure how to go about them without realising that we don’t actually have to bear these situations alone. Many effective strategies can help you come to terms with friends that disappoint you and the baggage of emotions and stress that comes along with it. Also, professionals and counsellors can offer you a fresh perspective on the matter and guide you positively. So why suffer?
“My Friends Disappoint Me”
Sometimes it’s difficult to understand the actions of others. However, before reacting impulsively, it is crucial to analyze the situation and understand that you cannot stop people from disappointing you. What you can do when your friends disappoint you is, think straight, discipline your feelings, acknowledge the friend’s perspective, and try to improve the situation.
An old saying goes, “Friends come into your life for a season, a reason, or a lifetime.” So ask yourself the following questions:
- Is this friendship for a lifetime?
- Is it worth saving despite the disappointment?
- Have I learned anything significant from this experience?
The answers to these will guide you to your next step.
It takes time to work over disappointments. So, give yourself sufficient time and space to effectively assess the situation and determine how valuable this friendship or person is to you. You may have to make some tough choices, so proceed with caution but don’t hold on to the hard feelings for too long.
Why Friends Disappoint You
You feel dejected when your friends disappoint you. This is because you set high expectations for them, and there is an unwillingness to accept reality when these are not met. Moreover, you allow yourself to be vulnerable to the person or the situation, which triggers a storm of emotions.
You are bound to be disheartened and spend time contemplating over questions like, ‘how could you have misjudged the character of the friend that disappointed you?’ or ‘why did they do this to you?’
Such episodes often leave you feeling betrayed. However, the critical part is to communicate these feelings to friends that disappoint you.
Unspoken emotions can take a toll on your emotional well-being, trigger stress, and lead to unhappiness. It is natural for friendships to fade or evolve. Addressing issues where feelings are hurt, or boundaries are transgressed is essential.
You Still Love Your Best Friend When They Disappoint You
The attachment and memories you share with your best friend and close ones won’t fade away despite the disappointment. You’ll always love them and wish the best for them regardless of the circumstances. It only means that you were genuine on your part and are allowed to be hurt and angry at friends that disappoint you.
Whether you want to give them another chance depends entirely on you and the intensity of the situation. You can choose to communicate with them freely about your feelings, discuss it with your counsellor or parents (someone you can confide in). But do not encourage toxic relationships and know when it is healthy to move on without any bitterness.
What to do When Your Friends Disappoint You
Here are some tips to follow when your friends disappoint you:
- Lack of communication can lead to misunderstandings. For this, emails and texts are not the best. Unless the distance is an issue, try to meet your friend to discuss the matter and clear the air.
- Listen to your friend’s side of the story and try to understand the root of their actions, as there could be undisclosed personal matters that may have triggered their behaviour.
- Maintain your composure and shun negative remarks. Be honest, polite and empathetic.
- If you feel anger during the conversation, take deep breaths and stay calm or connect with your friend later.
- Forgiveness plays a huge role in retaining your friendship and moving on. Don’t retell the stories to your other friends, and avoid playing the victim.
- If you’re unable to forgive, accept the situation and move on. This way, you’ll be able to avoid any bitterness and rise above the issue with dignity.
How to Cope When Your Friends Disappoint You
Let us look at an effective coping mechanism for such situations.
If your friend has a pattern of disappointing you and refuses to take responsibility for their actions, then set boundaries for your emotional well-being. If seeing your friend for less time makes sense for you, then convey that and spend your energy elsewhere.
Examine your expectations
Have reasonable expectations from a person for a healthy relationship. For instance, try to understand if they have deadlines or responsibilities, which demands attention, rather than taking it personally.
After you’ve implemented the above strategies, you will be at ease to make a fresh start. Eckhart Tolle, in his book, speaks about the power of ‘now’. The concept is about self-reflection and being present in the moment, which allows you to acknowledge reality.
Meditate, practice positive self-affirmations, and have a healthy attitude, which can let disappointments pass.
Winston Churchill once said, “Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.” Rather than dwelling on friends that disappointed you, why not begin again?
Online Counseling for Dealing with Disappointment in Friendships
When we are emotionally invested in a person, distinguishing between facts and emotions can be difficult. Seek other perspectives by meeting with a counsellor to discuss situations in an open, unbiased way.
Friendships are a crucial part of life. Friends boost happiness, reduce stress and loneliness, enhance belongingness, help cope with unpleasant circumstances. Good friends will encourage a change of unhealthy habits and reinforce your self-worth.
Online counselling can help you positively cope up with friends that disappoint you. These specialists can help you with your experiences, help you grow, and learn what you need to.
How to Deal with Disappointing Friendships by Seeking Expert Help
It can be challenging to navigate your feelings when your friends disappoint you. These strategies can help you deal with circumstances positively. Only you can truly decide if you really need friends that disappoint you. To make a choice you feel good about, get in touch with us!Take the first step today, and visit United We Care to put your emotional and mental health first. The team of professionals can help you process difficult situations and your feelings healthily and positively.