The decision to seek therapy is like entering a maze and you are not even sure where the first turn is. You might wonder: Let me talk about my problem to someone or what type of therapist do I need? This begs the question: what if I don’t connect with them? In fact, being able to get a therapist that fits your needs as an individual is such a great improvement in a person’s mental health journey. And when the right match is found, therapy is life altering.
What you may not realize is that the therapeutic relationship has been estimated to contribute as much as 30% of the variance in therapy outcomes. Studies show that the ‘working alliance’ or the bond that exists between the client and the therapist is the most significant source of explaining the therapeutic outcomes of an individual.
“Therapy is not just what they are talking about in this room but it includes a therapist who understands you,” says Dr. Susan Clarkson, a psychologist.
Finding that perfect fit might feel like dating, but once you click, the journey becomes so much more rewarding!
Step 1: Identify Your Needs
It is highly important to know what you want before entering the world of therapy. Are you dealing with worry? Is it stress, marital problems, or an unresolved traumatic experience? It is very important that you as a client understand and can determine the type of assistance that you need from a therapist.
Various categories of therapy forms are used according to various requirements. For instance:
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Most suitable for patients with negative cognitions, anxiety, or depression.
- Psychodynamic Therapy: If you seek to go beyond conscious ramification of your behaviors and feelings and get to their deeper causes.
- Trauma-Focused Therapy: Especially good if you have experienced the trauma and you would like to address this in a gradual manner.
To know more about this check out our resource on the science behind therapy.
Step 2: Research Different Therapists
When understanding the needs, the next step is to look for a therapist. Fortunately, today we have access to the internet and can easily achieve this step, for instance.
Here’s where to start:
- Online Directories: online directories can be amazing places to search for therapists by specialty, location, and insurance type.
- Referrals: talk to someone you know – word of mouth is often the best way to know and understand the situations.
- Online Therapy Platforms: many apps provide video and chats which are very helpful if a person cannot attend traditional in-office appointments.
Tip: Credentials should not be overlooked! Check if your potential therapist is certified and if he or she deals with your particular problems.
Step 3: Ask the Right Questions
This is your chance to get to know the therapist and even more about their practice. Do not fear asking direct questions during this meeting. It is an opportunity to know if their style will suit your expectations or not.
Here are a few key questions:
- “How should one manage anxiety?”
- “Can you describe the way in which you normally arrange your sessions?”
- “How much do you know about working with a client that has experienced a trauma?”
These questions may provide you insight with their approach as well as whether or not this certain person’s therapy modality is suitable for you. This step is not devoid of personal hunches; do not shy away from trusting your instincts here regarding the other person.
To know more about this and the essential questions to ask your therapist check out our resource on “Your first therapy session: what to expect and how to prepare”.
Step 4: Look at Logistics and Compatibility
It helps to remember that the practical aspects are equally valuable as feelings. Here are a few logistical things to keep in mind:
- Location: Would you prefer your counselor to be close to where you live, or are you comfortable with commuting or prefer online sessions?
- Cost: Counseling can sometimes be costly, so check that they take your insurance if not inquire about the rates.
- Availability: Are your timing schedules similar? And how will you fit therapy in your schedule.
Other than the practical issues, your therapist should be your choice of personality. Therapy is based on confidence and disclosure. In therapy, if you find that you are uncomfortable with your therapist then it may hinder your growth.
Step 5: Start and Keep Consistent
It is often said many times that starting with therapy is not an easy decision, and therefore, one should not rush with the results either. The first few sessions may be a little stiff because you are learning about each other. And that’s okay!
But after a few sessions, it’s important to evaluate your progress:
- Do you feel like you are being understood?
- Do you think it’s likely that you can share your feelings with other people?
- Can you observe slight progress?
Keep in consideration that progress does not happen overnight, it takes time and be consistent with it. But if after some time you don’t feel this, it is okay to set a new therapist. The change of a therapist before finding the right one is quite common. As clinical psychologist Dr. John Norcross puts it: ‘Counseling is a technology, but the counselor-client bond is a Fine Art’. In this case, it may be necessary to have a little bit of experimenting to arrive at the right fit.
Conclusion: First Steps Towards Healing
The beginning of the therapy is an important step toward improving the quality of life but it is at the same time an individual one. There should be no shame in taking your time in order to find a therapist who suits your needs. While it may feel like a chore to undergo that process, every single step leads to a healthier and happier life.
Remember: You need care that is truly compatible with your needs.
