Did you know that 64% of people diagnosed with a psychological disorder report that the holidays make their condition worse? (NAMI, 2014) Reviews also reveal that while psychological emergencies and admissions in the hospital for fatal cases do not rise, reported intensification of mood-related symptoms are quite common during the holiday (Sansone & Sansone, 2011).
So, if you’re not feeling the holiday spirit this Christmas, it’s not just you.
However, it is curious that the holidays, which in theory, are supposed to be all about joy, warmth, and love, may instead be composed of loneliness, isolation, and disappointment for some.
But what is it about that time of the year? Why is depression often worse during the holidays? As we’ll discuss in this blog, there are several factors that lead to a case of the holiday blues.
What are Holiday Blues?
Holiday blues refer to general feelings of stress, loneliness, isolation, or sadness experienced upon the onset of holidays. These emotions can come in waves – appearing weeks before the season arrives, or lasting for a while even after the season is over.
It is important to note that holiday blues or holiday depression is different from a mental illness (NAMI, 2014); rather, it is a short-lived mental health condition triggered by the expectations, stress, and isolation of the holidays.
Anyone Can Get Blues During Holidays
Anyone can be affected by the holiday blues. For instance, college students living away from family may feel an amplified weight of loss and distance. Similarly, minority communities might feel excluded when their traditions are not as widely recognized.
‘Tis the Season (of Expectations): Why Do So Many of Us Experience the Holiday Blues?
Filled with joy, love, and celebration — the holiday season is often portrayed as the most wonderful time of the year. Yet, for many people, it can be a time of stress, loneliness, and sadness.
Below, we explore some of the major factors that contribute to this seasonal phenomenon.
Expectations of That Perfect Christmas
The idea of a “perfect Christmas” is one of the biggest contributors to holiday blues.
Come November, and shops are already decorated, your inboxes are flooded with holiday sales and invitations, and your favorite social media app is already giving you the perfect suggestions for presents midscroll. You walk down the street, and everyone seems to be showcasing beautifully decorated homes.
For people who are not meeting these levels of excitement, it can start feeling like there is something wrong with not being extremely joyful during the holidays. The societal expectation for holidays paints a pretty joyful picture that may not quite match with reality.
Some factors that interact with unrealistic expectations around the holidays include:
- Stress: While parties and scheduled time with loved ones are meant to be full of joy and enjoyment, they can also create a lot of stress. Endless events, gatherings, and gift-giving can leave one vulnerable to burnouts.
- Overcommercialization: Constant bombardment of emails and messages regarding holiday sales sets the constant expectation of buying the perfect gifts, the perfect decorations, and being perfectly joyful all the time.
- Social Media: Social media often showcases curated, idealized versions of the holiday season. Scrolling through pictures of exotic vacations and picture-perfect family gatherings can quickly spark feelings of inadequacy or envy.
- Family Dynamics: Christmas is idealized as the time to be with family and loved ones. In reality, family dynamics can be incredibly complex and difficult to deal with for many. When you do not have these “ideal” family dynamics, the onset of holidays can automatically increase a low mood.
- Bad Experiences or Trauma: Having bad experiences or traumatic events associated with a time that is constantly portrayed as the happiest time possible is disheartening.
- Financial Stress: Holidays are a time filled with the financial obligations of buying gifts, hosting extravagant celebrations, and going for that much awaited year-end trip abroad. For those already struggling financially, the added pressure to overextend their finances, and struggling to afford presents for loved ones can cause stress and disappointment.
Are you experiencing the holiday blues?
Have you been feeling particularly stressed or disconnected this holiday season? Recognizing signs could help you make sense of your experience. Some signs of holiday blues include:
- Feeling persistently stressed or hopeless on most days during the holiday
- Losing interest in activities you once enjoyed.
- Constantly feeling anxious, tense, or on edge.
- Struggling to get a good night’s sleep on most days.
- Experiencing intrusive thoughts that are hard to manage.
- Changes in appetite or weight
- Difficulty concentrating
- Overwhelming sense of guilt or worthlessness
- Feeling more tired than usual .
If these symptoms resonate with you, it’s essential to prioritize your mental health. Consider reaching out to a mental health professional for support. You can check out United We Care for support https://www.unitedwecare.com/in/
Tips to Cope With Holiday Blues
Getting professional help is recommended if you are facing any of these symptoms. However, general feelings of sadness and isolation during the holidays can be managed through some simple coping strategies. Some tips that may help are listed below.
Acknowledge Your Feelings
If you’re feeling blue during the holidays, the first step to coping is to recognize and accept your feelings. Know that you aren’t alone, and many others feel the same way during this time of year. Allow yourself to process emotions rather than suppressing them.
Set Realistic Expectations
Holidays don’t have to be picture perfect to be meaningful. Take some time to reflect on what you enjoy the most, and make those activities a priority rather than those that feel obligatory. Next, taking an honest look at your current limits and accepting them without judgement can help. This will allow you to set realistic and achievable expectations during holidays.
Avoid Drinking Too Much
Holidays are a time filled with celebrations and parties. Try not to get too carried away and keep your relationship with alcohol light and fun. Avoid using substances as a coping mechanism for negative emotions and instead spend time finding healthier ways to cope.
Balancing Self Care and Time With Others
Losing yourself in the hustle and bustle of the holidays is a real possibility. Schedule breaks that allow you to self reflect, take a pause, and simply enjoy your own company.
However, completely isolating oneself may not be helpful as social isolation may amplify feelings of loneliness. The key is to find a balance. Even if it’s hard, try to participate in activities that connect you with others.
Should you consult a professional?
If your feelings of sadness, anxiety, or hopelessness persist beyond the holiday season, interfering with your daily life, or getting thoughts of self-harm, reach out to a mental health professional immediately.
Not sure who to ask for help? You can consult our AI-powered virtual wellness coach, Stella, for referrals to available mental health professionals, resources to help deal with difficult feelings, or if you just need someone to listen.
Conclusion
The “holiday blues” refer to a complex phenomenon experienced by many people, thanks to the influence of unrealistic expectations and idealized imagery of the perfect holiday.
Recognizing common triggers that are leaving you feeling blue during the holidays can help you prevent any adverse effects on your wellbeing. To cope with difficult emotions, prioritize self-care, set realistic expectations, and know that holidays do not need to be perfect to be meaningful.
