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Why Do I Hate Myself? How to Deal with Self Hatred and Self Loathing

October 25, 2023

6 min read

Author : United We Care
Clinically approved by : Dr.Vasudha
Why Do I Hate Myself? How to Deal with Self Hatred and Self Loathing


Self-hatred is a painful reality that hinders our ability to live up to our feelings and expressions. Every other person today holds a bitter thought about how bad they are or how pathetic they sound. To tackle the negative thoughts, a person should be more powerful, active, and caring.

Why Do I Hate Myself So Much?

We struggle with many critical thoughts while growing up. However, we don’t bother to learn from where these thoughts originate? What makes them so influential or impactful?

Self Hatred Psychology

After much research, the doctors have found that these thoughts emerge from distressing early life experiences. The struggles experienced by an individual in his childhood result in degrading the self-esteem and confidence of a person. Parents often struggle to deal with their children due to their past sufferings and react badly in anger. Abusive parenting can also deteriorate the self-image and promote anxiety. Another reason could be the desire to be a perfectionist in everything. Many people crib for not performing well, and it becomes their personality trait for a lifetime.

Signs of Self-Hatred

When we begin to dislike ourselves, we feel furious about our actions and become extra careful about our daily activities. There can be many signs that you might be carrying in your past that hinder the present now. Let’s discuss some of the signs of self-hatred:

  • Carrying low self-esteem: Low esteem makes someone lack confidence and their ability to tackle problems. You don’t feel that you are good enough in front of friends or family members, applying for a new job, or taking responsibility by yourself.
  • Pessimistic approach: Whether you have a good or bad day, you always carry the burden of a single negative thing that happened in your day. You tend to forget the joy of experiencing little things around you.
  • Seeking approval: You consistently take approval from others to validate your actions and decide your self-worth. It makes you always cautious of your personality and what others think of you.

Causes of Self-Hatred

Did you ever question yourself why do I hate myself sometimes? Or why do I hate pictures of myself? You might feel anticipated to find the answers to your questions. However, it can only happen when you enlighten your inner self to dig out some triggers like:

  • Judging yourself: If your inner self puts you down in a critical situation where you can’t meet the expectation in whatever you do, then you should be mindful of judging yourself with another person. Your inner voice invokes self-doubt and provokes you to think that you are stupid, unattractive, and worthless in every situation.
  • The encounter of bullying: When you have an experience or trauma of bullying, your present life gets immensely affected. You hear the words of bullies and give them more importance.
  • Mental stability: When you hold the feeling of self-hatred for a long time, it can cause mental health conditions such as depression or anxiety. It can leave you in a situation where you feel empty and different from everyone else.

How to Deal With Self-Hatred?

If you are confident in overcoming self-hatred thoughts, then you can follow some of these steps:

  • Implement self-compassion: Self-compassion can help handle bad situations. By practicing it, you can be softer and kinder toward yourself. It makes you more passionate about self-love and care.
  • Tackle the negative thoughts: In the battle to love yourself, you need to work hard to suppress your triggers. Try to counter back on your negative thoughts and build up a strong voice of your own.
  • Keep a journal: When you reflect on everyday events, you become more conscious of your regular patterns and emotions. Many researchers suggest keeping a journal to uplift your psychological well-being.

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How to Help Someone with Self-Hatred?

A person with low self-esteem can hold many perceptions about themselves. It is better to understand some of the following points before dealing with them:

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  • Evaluate their thoughts: Before speaking, you must understand the feelings of your friend or family member. When they say that they are not good for anything, try to consolidate them and say that you love them and see them as great people.
  • Always be a good listener: Remember that most of the time, the person with self-hatred is not looking for your judgment. By being a good listener, you can understand their behavior and emotions.
  • Encourage them to seek counseling: A person with low self-esteem hesitates to go for therapy or counseling. You can gently ask them to come along with you or call a counselor nearby.

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Overcoming Self-hatred: How to Overcome Self-Hatred

Self-hatred, depression, anxiety, and negative thinking are the key elements that harm your mental well-being. It is crucial to understand that overcoming these factors takes a long time and proper self-planning. Some of the avenues for overcoming self-hatred are:

  • Meditation: The best way to shut off your inner negative thoughts is meditation. Meditation offers you to make your mind quiet and peaceful. By practicing it regularly, you can feel that your power to focus on good thoughts has improved greatly.
  • Visiting a therapist: You can plan to go to a therapist if you are interested in quickly dealing with any traumatic experience or negative thinking.

Know more about Discover Meditation for Inner Peace: Peaceful Mind, Peaceful Life

Can Self-Hatred Cause Anxiety or Depression?

When you have a negative concept about your personality, you may see every small problem as a magnified situation that you can’t handle. Your negative mindset becomes your critic and incorporates the feelings of unworthiness inside your mind. Multiple catastrophic thoughts constantly revolve around and mess up your daily routine. It slowly translates into a big situation, viz. anxiety or depression. Therefore, self-loathing can be very painful and destructive.

Did you ever wonder what does the Bible say about self-hatred? It is interesting to note that the Bible has many teachings that guide you to be more self-loving. The holy book says, “Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.” It is so evident from these lines that self-love is the key to living a passionate life. It is essential to celebrate yourself and be grateful for this precious life.

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Author : United We Care

Founded in 2020, United We Care (UWC) is providing mental health and wellness services at a global level, UWC utilizes its team of dedicated and focused professionals with expertise in mental healthcare, to solve 2 essential missing components in the market, sustained user engagement and program efficacy/outcomes.

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