Have you ever wondered why some people struggle in their personal lives despite being high IQ individuals or some tend to thrive wherever emotions and interpersonal relations are concerned. Questions such as these come under the domain of emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence became a popular term in 1995, when it was discussed in Daniel Goleman’s book, titled Emotional intelligence. Goleman defines it as “the ability to identify, assess and control one’s own emotions, the emotion of others and that of groups.” The term was actually first suggested by Salovey and Mayer (1989). Unlike Intelligence Quotient (IQ), Emotional Quotient (EQ) can be developed and its skills can be practiced. Learning these skills can improve the quality of life and how we navigate our social world.
Understanding Emotional Intelligence and Improving Your EQ
To understand emotional intelligence, we need to break it down into its core components. According to Goleman, these are the four major components of emotional intelligence:
Self-Awareness: It is our capacity to identify and understand our emotions as they occur. It includes the awareness of your feelings and how these feelings influence your thoughts and actions.
Self-Regulation: Once we learn to recognize our emotions, we can move on to managing them effectively. Self-regulation involves limiting any impulsive behaviors and managing stress. The ability to stay calm under pressure is also a part of this.
Social Awareness: Social awareness is what helps us to identify the feelings of others and also understand those feelings. This can include being aware of the emotions, needs, and concerns of those around you. It helps you understand the social dynamics of any group, which allows you to participate in accordance. This competency supports the development of strong connections. Empathy is a key aspect of it. It is the capacity to put yourself in another’s shoes and understand their feelings, perspectives, and concerns.
Relationship Management: Being able to build and maintain healthy, positive relationships with others is a part of relationship management. This is supported by key aspects like good communication and conflict resolution. Management also includes inspiring and influencing others. This plays a role in professional spaces where one must foster collaboration, trust, and mutual respect.
Importance of Improving EQ
Our emotional intelligence is what helps us navigate our social world. We read social situations, form new relationships and maintain them, all with the help of these skills. Good and clear communication is another aspect aided by our EQ. A healthy set of coping skills and the quality of resilience helps us tackle daily stresses. It is a little difficult to truly explain how important empathy is. It helps us truly understand and connect with our fellow human beings. Thus improving eq becomes important.
EQ plays an important role in our work life too. Working often involves collaborating with other people. The ability to manage emotions and relationships effectively is highly crucial here. High EQ is also linked to good leadership, job performance, and stronger interpersonal relationships.
How to develop emotional intelligence
Here are a few ways in which you can try to develop your emotional intelligence for a better and insightful life
Non binary approach: It is important to take a non binary approach to understand your emotions. They should not be seen as ‘good’ or ‘bad’ but as natural responses. By not labelling them you accept and then work on those emotions.
Recognizing physical responses: When we experience emotions, it is accompanied by various physical responses too. They may be obvious like crying but sometimes may be ignored, like sweating. One must pay attention to physical indications of emotions to better understand ourselves.
Seeking feedback: It is difficult to develop self awareness when you know only your own point of view. Asking for feedback is healthy and can help us understand otehr’s perceptions.
Self regulation: When experiencing intense emotions, regulation techniques can help ground you. This involves deep breathing, relaxation exercises and grounding, where you sit in a positive environment or interact with someone close to you.
Building trust and empathy: By being open you can send others the signal that you are receptive to their views. This makes them feel comfortable. Trust should be shown not just through words but actions too.
Practice Mindfulness: Engage in mindfulness exercises like meditation or deep breathing to help you stay present and aware of your emotions. Mindfulness can improve your ability to regulate emotions and reduce stress.
Other Practical Tips to Develop Emotional Intelligence
How to develop emotional intelligence is a lifelong question but also a journey that requires intentional practice. Here are some practical tips to help you cultivate and enhance your EQ:
Journal Your Emotions: Writing about important emotional events in a journal or diary is a good method. It helps you record your feelings and maybe even find patterns. This allows you insights into your emotional triggers.
Develop Active Listening Skills: When part of a conversation, it is important to truly listen to the other person. Active listening skills can be practiced like not interrupting the person. Physical signs like nodding and short affirmations like “yeah” also help. At the end you can paraphrase what they have said to confirm whether you really understood them.
Work on Conflict Resolution: People are often scared of conflicts and let negative feelings build up. There is nothing wrong with conflicts as long as they are handled constructively. One must attempt to seek solutions that are acceptable to both parties.
Set Personal Goals: Developing and improving EQ can be supported by setting clear goals. For eg., becoming more patient or improving your empathy. This can help you view your progress and make changes in strategies accordingly.
Healthy diet and Exercise: A balanced diet with all the food groups you need ensures that you don’t experience mood fluctuations due to any deficiencies. Similarly, regular exercise also supports a balanced mood. A healthy body is necessary for a healthy mind.
Conclusion
As humans, some of us may have a tendency to focus on IQ more. We may see it as an indicator of professional success. However, EQ plays an equally important role in allowing a person to reach their potential, which is why it becomes important that we constantly keep on improving eq. By improving the four components of EQ i.e. self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management, you can enhance your ability in understanding emotional intelligence to navigate your social world. This leads to stronger relationships and a fulfilling life.
References
Filice, L., & Weese, W. J. (2024). Developing Emotional Intelligence. Encyclopedia, 4(1), 583-599.
Goleman, D. (1995). Emotional Intelligence. New York, New York: Bantam Dell.
Goleman, D., Boyatzis, R. & McKee, A. (2002). Primal Leadership: Realizing the Importance of Emotional Intelligence, Harvard Business School Press: Boston.
Goleman, D. (2000). Leadership That Gets Results. Harvard Business Review, 78, 78-93.
Salovey, P. & Mayer, J. D. (1997). Emotional Development and Emotional Intelligence. New York, New York: BasicBooks
