It is natural to be attracted to someone you cannot be with for several reasons. Several surveys and research conducted on the subject confirm the same.
How to Not Think About a Girl You Admire
Accept that you like her, but get in touch with your true self, pursue your interests, get involved in what you enjoy most, and talk to a confidant.Stella
Some of life’s significant sources of happiness come from meaningful, long-lasting, authentic relationships. When you cannot help but think about a girl you like, here are some ways you can deal with your feelings. These will help you avoid thinking about her and eventually help you forget about her.
Acceptance of the present
The first and foremost step is to understand and accept the fact, with maturity, that a feeling exists within you for the girl. The problem occurs when you deliberately neglect the fact that there’s a strong feeling of attraction or love.
Some guys may try tagging a girl as a ‘good friend’ or ‘confidant’. However, they know deep within themselves that they are genuinely developing feelings for her. It is essential to address such feelings with yourself and be on the same page.
“Why not her?”
Once you have accepted and understood that there is a strong feeling towards the girl, it is crucial to understand and confront why you cannot be with her – painful as they may be.
The best way of doing so is with logic. Maybe the girl is an old friend, some random girl you are infatuated with, a colleague, or even someone you met online. Usually, solid reasons exist for being unable to prolong these feelings. You must try to come to terms with and move on.
In some cases, there may not be an apparent reason as to why you cannot take it ahead, and you have to come to terms with it.
Understandably, you tend to focus on the girl you like. Things will seem to connect and correlate with her for no apparent reason. The general symptoms of lovesickness – where everything around you gives you hints and signs that link back to her – will occur.
It is crucial to remember the first step: accept and acknowledge the fact. After that, instantly gather your thoughts and shift your focus to something more urgent. It can be the task at hand, a random friend you haven’t called in a while, or even a random article.
Once this becomes a practice, your focus shifts from the girl and gets diluted over time. Use the same method of distraction with which you switch between apps on your phone in your free time.
Talk to a confidante
Times like this require someone whom you can trust blindly and to whom you can pour your heart out. It could be an old friend, a relative, or your therapist. You need to express your thoughts and feelings to someone who is a good listener, understands you, and can redirect you toward a better direction.
Even if they cannot convince you otherwise at this point, find a confidant who will patiently listen to you. You might eventually understand it yourself once you are in the right frame of mind and get back on track.
Book a session with a counselor
Sometimes, what you need is someone who listens to you, and counters you with simple questions, and acts as a mirror. This kind of session with a counselor can help you understand your situation better. It will help in reacting the right way in the future, with more ease.
Practice or restart a hobby
Remember your high-school hobby? Take that up. Be it dancing, listening to music, reading, collecting stamps, or talking to exciting people online – now is the best time to revisit it. Practice your hobby sincerely, and it shall surely guide you in a better direction. Hobbies help put your energy, time, and resources to good use instead of letting them waiver in an unwanted direction.
Keep yourself occupied
It is essential to understand that such thoughts go to the head only when they find a vacancy. Thus, meticulously plan your day to the minute. It serves the dual purpose of increasing productivity and efficiency to a great extent and not allowing a vacant moment for your thoughts to stray in another direction.
Do something that you always wanted
Remember wanting to finally buy a cycle and go on long bike rides in the evening? Treat yourself to something that you always wanted to do and take some time out. Write what you feel. Cook yourself a delicacy that you have always wanted to try out. Go out solo for a while.
Friends and family
Even in this emotional mess, remember that you have a few friends you can always count on for a quality time. You always have a family whom you can approach for any support. Be vulnerable and voice your thoughts to your close ones. Even the process of expressing yourself can help you feel immensely lighter.
Remove things that remind you of her, even thoughts
Since there is attachment, liking, or even love on your part, it is essential to purge the system thoroughly. Remove all objects that may remind you of her: presents, clothes, chargers, anything that might instantly bring back her name or thoughts. Collect them and put them in the bin.
Love at first sight? Don’t see
A glimpse of the girl you like is enough to reset the process and get you back to square one. Hence, it is important to remove her from all social media accounts, contacts, etc. Unfollow, avoid, and block! Try avoiding her in person for a long time, as long as it takes for you to move on.